Forgiveness

Forgiveness...hmmm...everytime I hear, see, or think this word, my mind races in a hundred different directions. So many things go through my mind.
For the past couple of weeks, forgiveness has been a common topic that has come up in my life in one way or another. To be completely honest, I wasn't thrilled with the fact that forgiveness kept coming up. It's not my favorite thing to talk or think about. And it is definitely not the easiest thing for me to do.
I've done my share of forgiving in my life (and have had my share of time where I needed to be forgiven). But I have also done my share of with holding forgiveness for much longer than I should have.
For Christians, it is plain and clear. Forgive others as God has forgiven you. Black and white, no way to be misinterpreted. Forgive. Just do it. But for some reason it isn't always quite that easy.
There is a situation from my past that I just absolutely refuges to grant forgiveness for. I truthfully had no desire to forgive this person and didn't think they deserved to be forgiven. Then it hit me (with some help from some people). I didn't deserve to be forgiven by God, but I was anyways. Ouch. And what this person did to me is nothing near things that I have done to God. But yet, He forgave me. Which meant I had to forgive this person. And myself for the role I played that created this situation.
But could I do that? Could I really forgive? I mean, I'm not as strong and not nearly as loving as God. The simple answer to this question is no. No, I couldn't forgive-not on my own at least. I needed God to give me the strength and help me to forgive. After a lot of prayer and a lot of searching through the Bible and as much faith as I could possibly it happened. I was finally willing and able to forgive. And you know what? I feel so much better about it. I don't hold a grudge, I'm starting to actually heal from this hurt, and God has comforted me and will continue to be my comfort as I continue to heal.
Something that a friend has said many times that will always stick with me is this: "It's a process." Forgiving, healing, moving on; it's all a process. It doesn't just happen and that's it. It's a continuous process that we must go through. I repeat this simple phrase to myself multiple times a day and it has helped me continue through this process and stay strong and faithful.
Thank you.