My Christmas was very Merry!!

This holiday season has been a little hard on me. As all of you know, my dad passed away VERY unexpectedly in March, so this was my first Christmas without him. I knew this time of year was going to be very hard and really different without him. We had so many little traditions that he was a big part of. As hard as it was, we did manage to have a very good Christmas.
One of our biggest traditions was cutting down the Christmas tree. I have never had a fake tree. Even last year when I lived in the duplex, I made sure before renting it that I would be allowed to have a real tree, and I did. Well, my dad has always cut down the tree. This year, it was me. I talked my mom into going to the tree farm and we had fun. There was snow on the ground, but it was a fairly warm day. We picked out a tree, with Elisabeth's help of course, and I cut it down. Then we dragged it in the sled and enjoyed hot cocoa in the gift shop area. We put the tree up and did the lights (also, things my dad did every year--those needles poke!). We had our sad moments, but we also had so many great memories of him, and those are the ones that helped us get through it.
Moving on to what I've done the past 2 days. Our Christmas Eve tradition is to go to my grandma's (dad's mom) and do dinner and gifts there. Everyone was worried that it wouldn't be the same without my dad's famous cheeseball. My cousins were excited when I showed up, cheeseball in hand. They said it wouldn't have been Christmas without uncle Mike's cheeseball. Now, those who really knew my dad, know that he was famous for his baked beans and his cheeseball. Here's the problem.....he never had a recipe or really told anyone how he made either. He did it all to taste and it wasn't until I was an adult that he would even let out his "secret ingredient" that made them so famous. So, I had to do my best with the cheeseball and put my own little spin on it. I was afraid people wouldn't like it, but they did (or they just didn't want to hurt my feelings...no, it was almost gone within 30 minutes at my grandmas!).
On Christmas morning, my uncle Rod (dad's brother) and his wife make the most amazing breakfast you will ever eat. It is awesome. And just a fun time to get together with them again during the holidays. They do it whenever people want to come, so we planned on going about 8am. So, I set my phone alarm for 7 with the plan of hitting snooze until 7:32, then getting shoes on Elisabeth and getting my mom up and going (it was a "come in your pjs" thing). Well, at 6:59, my phone went off, and it was not the alarm, but my regular ring tone. My heart skipped a beat, and I looked and saw "private" on caller id. I didn't know then what time it was, just that it was dark, and I knew that there was only one person who would call that early from a restricted number. I opened my phone and said "hello?" and heard that familiar "'Morning'" that I use to hear every morning.
Allen called me from boot camp. They were given a call. I couldn't stop smiling. And yes, I did cry a little. I was so excited just to hear his voice again after 2 months. It made my Christmas better than he will ever imagine. He wasn't even told how long the call was going to be...they eventually gave a "2 minute warning"...which was nice..usually it just disconnects. He has developed a huge southern accent, and I absolutely love it. I could sit and just listen to him talk for hours before, and now, I'll be able to do it for longer. It's surprising to most that I like the southern accent since I HATE country, but it is so cute and melts my heart. After 2 long months, I finally got to actually tell him "I love you" and get to hear it from him. It was amazing. It was the best Christmas present he could ever have given me. The call was about 8 1/2 minutes and worth every second. I'm still smiling hours later just thinking about it. This is a Christmas memory I will treasure forever...our first Christmas together, even though we were apart, but he made it special for me all the same. Oh, and when I checked the mail on Christmas Eve, there were 3 letters from him. It had been a week since I had heard from him. I have now hit the one dozen letter mark. And I re-read them all the time.
So, here's a quick update on him, since I'm talking about him...They still aren't sure what is causing the problem. Although they did inform him that he is "having dizzy spells". Well, duh, that's what he was going to them for. He knows the symptoms, he needs to know the cause of the symptoms and what to do about them. So, doctors are still stupid. I will never change my opinion on that. They did a few more tests on the 14th, which came back ok, just like everything else has. They are suppose to tell him on January 8th whether they are going to keep him or send him home...please keep praying! I'll let everyone know as soon as I find anything out. And, that's pretty much all he knew, so that's all I know. Jan. 8 is the magic day. That's when he finds out, who knows when we will.
On to the rest of my Christmas....so we went to the amazing breakfast at my uncle's. It was a lot of fun. On our way home, we stopped at the cemetery to visit my dad. There were so many pretty wreaths all over...it looked great. Then we came home and let Elisabeth open some of her presents. While she started playing with stuff, me and my mom got ourselves ready and cleaned the rest of the house. My brother and sister and their spouses came over and we all opened presents. We all had a good Christmas. Not long after we finished and cleaned up, my mom's brothers and sisters started coming over for the annual Gritzinger family Christmas party and gift exchange (that's my mom's maiden name). My mom has 6 brothers and 2 sisters. There was one brother and one sister who didn't come in. The rest were all there with their families. It was fun. The food was good. Elisabeth was so worn out that she slept through most of it. My 12 year old cousin was bouncing on the couch next to her and shaking her and he didn't even move. She was so tired. We had fun talking and eating and opening gifts. I got a lot of books this year, which is what I mainly asked for. I love to read. I have almost 15 books read for this year, and took about a 2 month break when me and Allen started dating. I want to read 20 next year. That's the goal. I do plan on starting a new blog (still keeping this one) in the new year where I do reviews of books and movies and TV shows and just experiences at places. Stay tuned...more info on that to come.
So, all in all...I had a great Christmas. I was dreading this time of year for months. With Allen gone and my dad gone, it was just hard. I noticed the difference of my dad not being there, but I could survive it. They say it doesn't get easier, you just get more use to it. Well, I'm hanging in and trying. I made it through one holiday season...I think I'll make it through more...but it will still always be hard, and I will never stop missing my dad. I still love him and think about him all the time. I cry, I laugh, I just remember. He's not completely gone because he is a part of each and every one of us. I take him with me everywhere I go and he's right there with me in everything I do. It's been 9 1/2 months but sometimes it feels like I talked to him yesterday. I love you dad, Merry Christmas. I hope they play "A Christmas Story" and "Home Alone" for you in Heaven. I miss watching them with you and hearing you laugh like you've never seen them before.
Well, I think that's all I have for now. I have to write Allen. I send a letter everyday that the mail goes out. I have so much to tell him about the rest of my day. And so many things that I couldn't think of when I actually was talking to him. I was too excited and overjoyed that my mind went blank. He did say that when he gets home, he wants a cheeseburger like I made him before he left (there's a pic of him with it on his MySpace page), and he wants to just sit with me for 24 hours and not do anything...except eat the cheeseburger. I think that can be arranged ;)
Christmas technically just came to an end a few minutes ago, but MERRY CHRISTMAS to everyone anyways. I hope everyone was able to enjoy their Christmas despite what negative things may be going on in their lives. Love to you all.
PS) There will be Christmas pics soon. I have to download them to my computer, then plug mine into teh internet at my mom's...or that would be a good excuse to go to a coffee shop....wireless access....