In Memory of J Michael Gay, Sr; my dad

J. Michael Gay Sr.

J. Michael Gay, Sr., age 51, went home to be with the Lord, March 11, 2007.
He was a lifetime Akron area resident and was employed over 29 years with the City of Akron in the finance department. Mike volunteered for over 20 years with NABA as coach and trustee and received the 2005 Good Neighbor Award for Ward 1. He was a 31 year member of the FallsCreek Community Church and was an avid Notre Dame football fan.
Preceded in death by his father, Charles P. Jr.; grandfather, Charles P. Sr.; and grandparents, Charles and Marguerite Thorne; he is survived by his wife of 31 years, Barbara; children, Jaimee (Josh) Merrell, Mike Jr. (Suzanne), and Jacqueline; granddaughter, Elisabeth; mother, Olive; grandmother, Dot Hall; brothers, Rodney (Vicki) and David; sister, Julie; father-in-law, Donald Gritzinger; and many nieces and nephews.
Funeral service Friday 11 a.m. at FallsCreek Community Church, 149 Northmoreland Avenue, Munroe Falls, with Dr. Michael Thomas officiating. Burial at Hillside Memorial Park. Friends may call at the Hopkins Lawver Funeral Home, 547 Canton Road, Akron, 5 to 8 p.m. Thursday and one hour prior to service time at the church on Friday. The family suggests memorials to his church.
(Hopkins Lawver, Akron, 330-733-6271.)
www.hopkinslawver.com

It's hard to believe that one year ago today I lost my dad. Me and my dad were always close, and even more so after I had Elisabeth. She was definitely grandpa's little girl. I am lucky that I was able to have such a wonderful relationship with my father. I have so many memories of my time with him. I can still remember his little quirks and the way he did things and even the sound of his voice. And while remembering sometimes makes my cry, it is worth every tear. I love my dad. I know that he loves me. We still share the same love for each other even though I am here and he is in Heaven. That is where I find my strength. When we were doing the funeral arrangements, myself, my mom, my brother, and my sister knew that we wanted to say something about what he meant to each of us, but knew that we wouldn't be able to speak at the funeral. So, we came up with a better solution. We each wrote a short passage about him and compiled them into an insert for the bulletin that was at his calling hours and funeral. It gave people an insight on my dad that most never saw from him. I would like to share those thoughts with everyone.

My Mike-My Love,

We met in 1972, our senior year at Springfield High School and have been together ever since. On Valentine’s Day 1974 you asked me to make it forever and I instantly said yes. November 1, 1975 became our start to a new beginning. Though we didn’t always agree or I didn’t always like you or what you did, I always loved you.
The most important thing you shared with us was your faith. We were in church from the time we were married and I soon got saved. We took the kids to church as newborns and they have all accepted Jesus as their Savior. We all know we’ll see you again someday but that doesn’t ease the pain.
We had just started planning your retirement and the rest of our lives together. 35 years seems like such a longtime together, but it went by way too fast. Another 35 years together would have been ok but God knew better. Though I didn’t understand why I know you have your reasons. I will forever love you and miss you.

Love,

Barb

Dear Dad,

Though we were never a family that said “I love you” very often, I never once doubted the depth of your love for me. You showed your love time and time again over the years. You were always there for me no matter what I needed. When I was home on weekends during college, you always made me breakfast – two eggs sunny-side up with two pieces of toast. I’ve never been able to make them taste the same as yours. You helped me move every year to a new dorm room and then four more times after college even though you had a bad back. If I would have told you to stay home because I had enough help, you would have come anyway. That’s the kind of person you were. You came to every school or church activity I ever participated in – track meets, choir performances, open house. I look around at the lack of support my students have from their parents and I realize how lucky I was to have parents who wanted to a part of my life. You were never too busy for me – even when I became an adult and moved out of the house.
When I was a kid I was upset that I was the only one who didn’t have a nickname: Michael was Mikey and Jacqueline was Jacki. I’m sure that is not something you thought of when you named us. So, you made one up. You decided my nickname would be Jaimee-Aimee. You would still call me that sometimes. For me, it was a private name that only you used and I loved it when you called me by it. I can still hear you saying it to me.
Sunday afternoon, I went outside to sit on the porch for a few minutes. The thought about how, when I was younger, you used to take the bus to work. I’d be outside watching for you. When I saw you coming down the sidewalk, I’d run down to meet you. You’d pick me up and carry me the rest of the way home while I told you what happened on “Scooby-Doo” that day.
You made so many sacrifices for us. You never needed to have things to make you happy. You were more happy seeing us happy. Anytime we would ask you what to get you for your birthday or Christmas, your response was always that you didn’t need anything. As long as we came over to celebrate, you would have been completely content. Your happiness came from seeing us happy and from being at the baseball field.
I had often been told as a teenager that I was just like you. At the time I didn’t like that, but now I’m proud of it. There have been many times in the past four years that I have either done or said something and Josh sarcastically replied, “I wonder where you got that from” knowing exactly where it came from. I would proudly reply “I’m just like my dad.” Sometimes it annoyed him, sometimes it made him laugh. Now I hope I don’t break down into tears every time I say or do something that reminds me of you.
I know Josh loved you and I know you were proud to have him as a son-in-law. Josh wanted to say something to you. “You welcomed me into your family with open arms. You didn’t just welcome me, but you treated me as a son. I learned from you to be a man means to laugh, to cry, and to love unconditionally. I knew you for four years yet you impacted me for the reset of my life. I love you.”
I don’t know how we’re going to go on without you, Dad. You were our strength, our guide, the one who held us together. I don’t know who I’m going to call now when I have a question. I don’t know who I’m going to ask when I don’t know how to put something together. I don’t know who I’m going to turn to when I want to talk to my Dad. At least you left us knowing that we are loved and knowing that we’ll see you again someday. Until that day…I’ll never understand why you had to go so soon but I do know that I will always love you.

Love Always,

Jaimee

Dear Dad,

I love you so much and I hope you knew this. I know I never had a doubt because you were always there by my side. You were a man of actions and not words. Though you didn’t say it much your actions told me so, even as an adult you were always there to support me. Over the years you have been a father to more than just your three children. You treated all of my friends as if they were your own children and I think everyone of them can testify that they are a better person because of you!
These past 5 years or so have been especially memorable for me because I got the opportunity to know you as more than just my father. I got to know you as the man that everybody else sees you as, and the man that everybody else will miss.
I miss you so much already but at least I can hold on to the many memories and know that you will always be there for me. I love you dad!

Your gracious and loving son,

Mike

Dear Dad,
You were always the strength that held our family together. We were a strong family because you were a strong man. Anyone could tell by looking at any of us that there was a lot of love in this family. Your love for all of us was evident on our faces.
You were never afraid to show me you loved me by saying so and giving me hugs. You didn’t have to say that you loved me for me to know how much I was loved, but you still told me anyways.
No matter what venture I tried, you were there to encourage and support me. You came to my softball games, band concerts, and all the football games to watch me march. You were always there, and always proud of me.
I remember when I was young and would pretend to be asleep so you would carry me up and put me into bed; even though you knew I wasn’t really sleeping. I remember waiting to see you come around the corner on your way home from work so I could run and meet you half way down the street so we could tell each other about our day and walk the rest of the way home together.
You even passed some of our little traditions down to Elisabeth. With both of us you were always willing to come out and hop into the swimming pool after work and play for hours in the water.
Those are just a few of the many wonderful memories that I will never forget about you and will always cherish.
I love you and I miss you,
Jacki

Dear Grandpa,
I love you and I miss you. You always made me smile and always made me laugh. I loved playing hide-and-seek and reading Green Eggs and Ham with you. You even let me help you with your puzzles. I will miss taking naps with you and Princess in your chair, and calling you while you were on lunch at work.

I love you Grandpa!
Elisabeth

I love you dad. I miss you. I know I will one day get to see you again and I look forward to that reunion. I hope that I have made you proud.