In Memory of J Michael Gay, Sr; my dad

J. Michael Gay Sr.

J. Michael Gay, Sr., age 51, went home to be with the Lord, March 11, 2007.
He was a lifetime Akron area resident and was employed over 29 years with the City of Akron in the finance department. Mike volunteered for over 20 years with NABA as coach and trustee and received the 2005 Good Neighbor Award for Ward 1. He was a 31 year member of the FallsCreek Community Church and was an avid Notre Dame football fan.
Preceded in death by his father, Charles P. Jr.; grandfather, Charles P. Sr.; and grandparents, Charles and Marguerite Thorne; he is survived by his wife of 31 years, Barbara; children, Jaimee (Josh) Merrell, Mike Jr. (Suzanne), and Jacqueline; granddaughter, Elisabeth; mother, Olive; grandmother, Dot Hall; brothers, Rodney (Vicki) and David; sister, Julie; father-in-law, Donald Gritzinger; and many nieces and nephews.
Funeral service Friday 11 a.m. at FallsCreek Community Church, 149 Northmoreland Avenue, Munroe Falls, with Dr. Michael Thomas officiating. Burial at Hillside Memorial Park. Friends may call at the Hopkins Lawver Funeral Home, 547 Canton Road, Akron, 5 to 8 p.m. Thursday and one hour prior to service time at the church on Friday. The family suggests memorials to his church.
(Hopkins Lawver, Akron, 330-733-6271.)
www.hopkinslawver.com

It's hard to believe that one year ago today I lost my dad. Me and my dad were always close, and even more so after I had Elisabeth. She was definitely grandpa's little girl. I am lucky that I was able to have such a wonderful relationship with my father. I have so many memories of my time with him. I can still remember his little quirks and the way he did things and even the sound of his voice. And while remembering sometimes makes my cry, it is worth every tear. I love my dad. I know that he loves me. We still share the same love for each other even though I am here and he is in Heaven. That is where I find my strength. When we were doing the funeral arrangements, myself, my mom, my brother, and my sister knew that we wanted to say something about what he meant to each of us, but knew that we wouldn't be able to speak at the funeral. So, we came up with a better solution. We each wrote a short passage about him and compiled them into an insert for the bulletin that was at his calling hours and funeral. It gave people an insight on my dad that most never saw from him. I would like to share those thoughts with everyone.

My Mike-My Love,

We met in 1972, our senior year at Springfield High School and have been together ever since. On Valentine’s Day 1974 you asked me to make it forever and I instantly said yes. November 1, 1975 became our start to a new beginning. Though we didn’t always agree or I didn’t always like you or what you did, I always loved you.
The most important thing you shared with us was your faith. We were in church from the time we were married and I soon got saved. We took the kids to church as newborns and they have all accepted Jesus as their Savior. We all know we’ll see you again someday but that doesn’t ease the pain.
We had just started planning your retirement and the rest of our lives together. 35 years seems like such a longtime together, but it went by way too fast. Another 35 years together would have been ok but God knew better. Though I didn’t understand why I know you have your reasons. I will forever love you and miss you.

Love,

Barb

Dear Dad,

Though we were never a family that said “I love you” very often, I never once doubted the depth of your love for me. You showed your love time and time again over the years. You were always there for me no matter what I needed. When I was home on weekends during college, you always made me breakfast – two eggs sunny-side up with two pieces of toast. I’ve never been able to make them taste the same as yours. You helped me move every year to a new dorm room and then four more times after college even though you had a bad back. If I would have told you to stay home because I had enough help, you would have come anyway. That’s the kind of person you were. You came to every school or church activity I ever participated in – track meets, choir performances, open house. I look around at the lack of support my students have from their parents and I realize how lucky I was to have parents who wanted to a part of my life. You were never too busy for me – even when I became an adult and moved out of the house.
When I was a kid I was upset that I was the only one who didn’t have a nickname: Michael was Mikey and Jacqueline was Jacki. I’m sure that is not something you thought of when you named us. So, you made one up. You decided my nickname would be Jaimee-Aimee. You would still call me that sometimes. For me, it was a private name that only you used and I loved it when you called me by it. I can still hear you saying it to me.
Sunday afternoon, I went outside to sit on the porch for a few minutes. The thought about how, when I was younger, you used to take the bus to work. I’d be outside watching for you. When I saw you coming down the sidewalk, I’d run down to meet you. You’d pick me up and carry me the rest of the way home while I told you what happened on “Scooby-Doo” that day.
You made so many sacrifices for us. You never needed to have things to make you happy. You were more happy seeing us happy. Anytime we would ask you what to get you for your birthday or Christmas, your response was always that you didn’t need anything. As long as we came over to celebrate, you would have been completely content. Your happiness came from seeing us happy and from being at the baseball field.
I had often been told as a teenager that I was just like you. At the time I didn’t like that, but now I’m proud of it. There have been many times in the past four years that I have either done or said something and Josh sarcastically replied, “I wonder where you got that from” knowing exactly where it came from. I would proudly reply “I’m just like my dad.” Sometimes it annoyed him, sometimes it made him laugh. Now I hope I don’t break down into tears every time I say or do something that reminds me of you.
I know Josh loved you and I know you were proud to have him as a son-in-law. Josh wanted to say something to you. “You welcomed me into your family with open arms. You didn’t just welcome me, but you treated me as a son. I learned from you to be a man means to laugh, to cry, and to love unconditionally. I knew you for four years yet you impacted me for the reset of my life. I love you.”
I don’t know how we’re going to go on without you, Dad. You were our strength, our guide, the one who held us together. I don’t know who I’m going to call now when I have a question. I don’t know who I’m going to ask when I don’t know how to put something together. I don’t know who I’m going to turn to when I want to talk to my Dad. At least you left us knowing that we are loved and knowing that we’ll see you again someday. Until that day…I’ll never understand why you had to go so soon but I do know that I will always love you.

Love Always,

Jaimee

Dear Dad,

I love you so much and I hope you knew this. I know I never had a doubt because you were always there by my side. You were a man of actions and not words. Though you didn’t say it much your actions told me so, even as an adult you were always there to support me. Over the years you have been a father to more than just your three children. You treated all of my friends as if they were your own children and I think everyone of them can testify that they are a better person because of you!
These past 5 years or so have been especially memorable for me because I got the opportunity to know you as more than just my father. I got to know you as the man that everybody else sees you as, and the man that everybody else will miss.
I miss you so much already but at least I can hold on to the many memories and know that you will always be there for me. I love you dad!

Your gracious and loving son,

Mike

Dear Dad,
You were always the strength that held our family together. We were a strong family because you were a strong man. Anyone could tell by looking at any of us that there was a lot of love in this family. Your love for all of us was evident on our faces.
You were never afraid to show me you loved me by saying so and giving me hugs. You didn’t have to say that you loved me for me to know how much I was loved, but you still told me anyways.
No matter what venture I tried, you were there to encourage and support me. You came to my softball games, band concerts, and all the football games to watch me march. You were always there, and always proud of me.
I remember when I was young and would pretend to be asleep so you would carry me up and put me into bed; even though you knew I wasn’t really sleeping. I remember waiting to see you come around the corner on your way home from work so I could run and meet you half way down the street so we could tell each other about our day and walk the rest of the way home together.
You even passed some of our little traditions down to Elisabeth. With both of us you were always willing to come out and hop into the swimming pool after work and play for hours in the water.
Those are just a few of the many wonderful memories that I will never forget about you and will always cherish.
I love you and I miss you,
Jacki

Dear Grandpa,
I love you and I miss you. You always made me smile and always made me laugh. I loved playing hide-and-seek and reading Green Eggs and Ham with you. You even let me help you with your puzzles. I will miss taking naps with you and Princess in your chair, and calling you while you were on lunch at work.

I love you Grandpa!
Elisabeth

I love you dad. I miss you. I know I will one day get to see you again and I look forward to that reunion. I hope that I have made you proud.

A lot can change in such a little time

I found out yesterday afternoon that Allen is coming home. He could be home in as little as 2 weeks (not too likely) or as much as over a month. His mom is hoping by March 1; my wish is before Feb. 14-so we can finally spend a holiday together!! (Well, besides Labor Day; which we spent at a picnic at my mom's.) They still don't know what is wrong as far as I know, so its something we're going to have to keep trying to figure out when he returns. I'll let people know when I find out more. I'm not even sure how far in advance we'll even find out the date he is coming home. It could be "they're putting me on a bus tomorrow; here's when it's scheduled to be in" or even "hey, I'm at the bus stop, can you pick me up?" The second one isn't likely, but always a possibility. So, there it is. That's all I know.

Like they say....no news is...

....FRUSTRATING! Oh, wait, I'm the one who says that. The 18th was supposed to be the "magic day" when Allen found out what was going to happen. Well, that was the THIRD day it was scheduled for. It was originally the 8th, then the 14th, then the 18th. I have yet to hear anything. What that usually means is that they are keeping him; at least for the time being. But, it is the military and they do things on their time. If they did tell him that they were sending him home, they most likely would have let him call to say so. And since I haven't heard from him or either of his parents, I'm assuming they haven't heard from him either and that it's a "good thing" and he's staying. I plan to keep writing until I am told not to. So, keep the jokes coming. you still have time to send me jokes to compile and send to Allen. I haven't had a chance to get to it yet. Hopefully by the end of this week. I did take pictures of everything I did last Thursday and turn it into a comic book type thing for him. It was super corny, but will make him laugh, and that's my whole purpose. So, I know nothing, as usual. I am in no way getting use to be uninformed about EVERYTHING ALL the time! I hate it. I like to know everything that is going on. This sucks for me. I just hate not knowing. Not being able to tell people anything when they ask...which is ALL the time. It's actually usually the first thing people say to me when they see me, talk to me, or email me. No hi, just "how's Allen?" or "any news on Allen?" or "have you heard anything from Allen?" or "when was the last time you heard from Allen?" My new response..."Yes, I'm doing well thank you for asking; how about yourself?"Don't get me wrong, I love him, and I don't mind people asking about him, and I am doing my best to keep everyone as informed as I am. But, just so you all know "yes, I'm doing well, thank you". Well, there's my little frustrated rant for the day. As soon as I hear anything new, I will update everyone. In the meantime; keep praying for him. Oh, and watch my blog, because coming later this week is my third installment of "You might be rude and ignorant if.....military edition". For more on being rude and ignorant; search my blog...I have 2 other posts about it, but don't feel like finding the link to them for you. So, have a fun adventure! I know the first one is at the beginning of my blog. It was one of my first posts.

Yes, I'm still alive...and well.

I know, I know, it has been a long time since I posted. And past the date that I was suppose to hear about Allen's status at bootcamp. So here's the scoop.

They changed when he is going to find out anything. It was suppose to be the 8th, and now it is the 18th (which is this Friday). They didn't have his stuff ready when he went on the 8th for answers, so he had to go back. So far, all the testing has come back fine or inconclusive (the MRV). As of now, no cause. However, he informed his mom that his headaches are constant, but he can work through those, it's the dizziness he has been getting 2-3 times a day that he can't work through. We'll see what they say on Friday. I just found out all this Sunday, which is why I didn't pass anything along until now (with a nice reminder from Deb that it had been since Christmas since I've blogged). I'll update as soon as I know anything. One thing Allen did tell me is that if he is still there and not training when he hits the 6 month mark, he will come home, and try again later; or not, maybe. That would be the end of April. If he starts training this month (not looking likely), he'd be done at the end of April; so I'm not getting my hopes up to see him before then. Although, I'd love to see him before then, that is when it looks like he'll be home-unless they send him home before that. As it is; on the 18th, he will have been on Parris Island for 82 days. It's been a long 82 days, but has gone by quick now that I look back at it. It was slow at first, then the holidays hit and time started to fly. Now, it's going kinda slow again, but I'll make it. I can't wait to see him! It's funny, because we are on complete opposite schedules. I don't go to bed until about 2 or 3 am (I just can't fall asleep before then no matter when I get up), and he wakes up at 4am. We're now battling over who is going to have to adjust to the other's schedule once he comes home. I think he forgot one very important thing since he's been gone though--I always win.

Moving on....I got a job. I start tomorrow for an orientation of things. It's as a part time office assistant at the Center for Child Development at the University of Akron. I did the tour today, and peeked in on all the kids. I'm excited. I'll be on a better schedule. Although, I'll still probably be staying up kinda late since I don't go in like 10am and I will be the one to stay and close at 6pm. Not too bad. See, this is why Allen will have to adjust...I won't be able to get dinner done until like 7, so he'll have to stay up to eat and spend time with me and Elisabeth. :) See, I'll win. I'm not too worried about it.

There's really not that much else going on around here. Same boring stuff. I'm trying to come up with some creative things to do to send Allen. We're both getting bored of always writing the same things. So, if anyone has any ideas...please pass them along! I have some; but depending on how long he stays, I'll most likely be needing more! So, please, anything creative. But, it can't be any bigger than a regular letter and be sent in a regular envelope. That kinda limits it, but anything that's more than just telling him the boring stuff going on here. Something to make him laugh or smile. Ok, gotta go! I'll post another update as soon as I hear from him what's going on. And, on my job as I get more and more into it. Bye!

My Christmas was very Merry!!

This holiday season has been a little hard on me. As all of you know, my dad passed away VERY unexpectedly in March, so this was my first Christmas without him. I knew this time of year was going to be very hard and really different without him. We had so many little traditions that he was a big part of. As hard as it was, we did manage to have a very good Christmas.
One of our biggest traditions was cutting down the Christmas tree. I have never had a fake tree. Even last year when I lived in the duplex, I made sure before renting it that I would be allowed to have a real tree, and I did. Well, my dad has always cut down the tree. This year, it was me. I talked my mom into going to the tree farm and we had fun. There was snow on the ground, but it was a fairly warm day. We picked out a tree, with Elisabeth's help of course, and I cut it down. Then we dragged it in the sled and enjoyed hot cocoa in the gift shop area. We put the tree up and did the lights (also, things my dad did every year--those needles poke!). We had our sad moments, but we also had so many great memories of him, and those are the ones that helped us get through it.
Moving on to what I've done the past 2 days. Our Christmas Eve tradition is to go to my grandma's (dad's mom) and do dinner and gifts there. Everyone was worried that it wouldn't be the same without my dad's famous cheeseball. My cousins were excited when I showed up, cheeseball in hand. They said it wouldn't have been Christmas without uncle Mike's cheeseball. Now, those who really knew my dad, know that he was famous for his baked beans and his cheeseball. Here's the problem.....he never had a recipe or really told anyone how he made either. He did it all to taste and it wasn't until I was an adult that he would even let out his "secret ingredient" that made them so famous. So, I had to do my best with the cheeseball and put my own little spin on it. I was afraid people wouldn't like it, but they did (or they just didn't want to hurt my feelings...no, it was almost gone within 30 minutes at my grandmas!).
On Christmas morning, my uncle Rod (dad's brother) and his wife make the most amazing breakfast you will ever eat. It is awesome. And just a fun time to get together with them again during the holidays. They do it whenever people want to come, so we planned on going about 8am. So, I set my phone alarm for 7 with the plan of hitting snooze until 7:32, then getting shoes on Elisabeth and getting my mom up and going (it was a "come in your pjs" thing). Well, at 6:59, my phone went off, and it was not the alarm, but my regular ring tone. My heart skipped a beat, and I looked and saw "private" on caller id. I didn't know then what time it was, just that it was dark, and I knew that there was only one person who would call that early from a restricted number. I opened my phone and said "hello?" and heard that familiar "'Morning'" that I use to hear every morning.
Allen called me from boot camp. They were given a call. I couldn't stop smiling. And yes, I did cry a little. I was so excited just to hear his voice again after 2 months. It made my Christmas better than he will ever imagine. He wasn't even told how long the call was going to be...they eventually gave a "2 minute warning"...which was nice..usually it just disconnects. He has developed a huge southern accent, and I absolutely love it. I could sit and just listen to him talk for hours before, and now, I'll be able to do it for longer. It's surprising to most that I like the southern accent since I HATE country, but it is so cute and melts my heart. After 2 long months, I finally got to actually tell him "I love you" and get to hear it from him. It was amazing. It was the best Christmas present he could ever have given me. The call was about 8 1/2 minutes and worth every second. I'm still smiling hours later just thinking about it. This is a Christmas memory I will treasure forever...our first Christmas together, even though we were apart, but he made it special for me all the same. Oh, and when I checked the mail on Christmas Eve, there were 3 letters from him. It had been a week since I had heard from him. I have now hit the one dozen letter mark. And I re-read them all the time.
So, here's a quick update on him, since I'm talking about him...They still aren't sure what is causing the problem. Although they did inform him that he is "having dizzy spells". Well, duh, that's what he was going to them for. He knows the symptoms, he needs to know the cause of the symptoms and what to do about them. So, doctors are still stupid. I will never change my opinion on that. They did a few more tests on the 14th, which came back ok, just like everything else has. They are suppose to tell him on January 8th whether they are going to keep him or send him home...please keep praying! I'll let everyone know as soon as I find anything out. And, that's pretty much all he knew, so that's all I know. Jan. 8 is the magic day. That's when he finds out, who knows when we will.
On to the rest of my Christmas....so we went to the amazing breakfast at my uncle's. It was a lot of fun. On our way home, we stopped at the cemetery to visit my dad. There were so many pretty wreaths all over...it looked great. Then we came home and let Elisabeth open some of her presents. While she started playing with stuff, me and my mom got ourselves ready and cleaned the rest of the house. My brother and sister and their spouses came over and we all opened presents. We all had a good Christmas. Not long after we finished and cleaned up, my mom's brothers and sisters started coming over for the annual Gritzinger family Christmas party and gift exchange (that's my mom's maiden name). My mom has 6 brothers and 2 sisters. There was one brother and one sister who didn't come in. The rest were all there with their families. It was fun. The food was good. Elisabeth was so worn out that she slept through most of it. My 12 year old cousin was bouncing on the couch next to her and shaking her and he didn't even move. She was so tired. We had fun talking and eating and opening gifts. I got a lot of books this year, which is what I mainly asked for. I love to read. I have almost 15 books read for this year, and took about a 2 month break when me and Allen started dating. I want to read 20 next year. That's the goal. I do plan on starting a new blog (still keeping this one) in the new year where I do reviews of books and movies and TV shows and just experiences at places. Stay tuned...more info on that to come.
So, all in all...I had a great Christmas. I was dreading this time of year for months. With Allen gone and my dad gone, it was just hard. I noticed the difference of my dad not being there, but I could survive it. They say it doesn't get easier, you just get more use to it. Well, I'm hanging in and trying. I made it through one holiday season...I think I'll make it through more...but it will still always be hard, and I will never stop missing my dad. I still love him and think about him all the time. I cry, I laugh, I just remember. He's not completely gone because he is a part of each and every one of us. I take him with me everywhere I go and he's right there with me in everything I do. It's been 9 1/2 months but sometimes it feels like I talked to him yesterday. I love you dad, Merry Christmas. I hope they play "A Christmas Story" and "Home Alone" for you in Heaven. I miss watching them with you and hearing you laugh like you've never seen them before.
Well, I think that's all I have for now. I have to write Allen. I send a letter everyday that the mail goes out. I have so much to tell him about the rest of my day. And so many things that I couldn't think of when I actually was talking to him. I was too excited and overjoyed that my mind went blank. He did say that when he gets home, he wants a cheeseburger like I made him before he left (there's a pic of him with it on his MySpace page), and he wants to just sit with me for 24 hours and not do anything...except eat the cheeseburger. I think that can be arranged ;)
Christmas technically just came to an end a few minutes ago, but MERRY CHRISTMAS to everyone anyways. I hope everyone was able to enjoy their Christmas despite what negative things may be going on in their lives. Love to you all.
PS) There will be Christmas pics soon. I have to download them to my computer, then plug mine into teh internet at my mom's...or that would be a good excuse to go to a coffee shop....wireless access....

In the mind of a 4 year old...

Today I was watching TV when my daughter came in and said that she had stuck gum up her nose. Why? I asked (laughing) did you do that? See, we have had many problems with her and gum. One day, I had to scrub her face for 10 minutes and it still didn't come off. And her arms, and her neck. How she got it all over and was still chewing some, I don't know. Another time, she decided to stick the whole chewed up piece in the little round spinner thing of a video cassette--from the library! And just the other day I had to cut a big chunk of her hair, right in front, because she has gotten gum stuck in it. Now, she's been told repeatedly that she is not allowed to have gum in the first place, and when she does get ahold of it (aka....grandma tells her she can have it), she knows it is to stay in her mouth or it goes in the trash. She actually cried for like 30 minutes when I pulled the gum out of the movie and threw it away....she wanted "gummy" back. Well, today I was able to calm her down and tried pinching one side and having her blow with the other to get it out...no luck. So, I found the tweezers. I had her lay down and close her eyes ( I know I wouldn't want to watch a pair of tweezers getting put up my nose) and I managed to get it out after three tries. And what dose the kid do? She holds out her hand and wants it back to chew it....snot and all. That didn't happen. Luckily, it came out in once piece. Maybe she learned a lesson from this...then again, she didn't with all the other gum incidents, so I'm not holding my breath. Just wanted to share...should make some of you laugh and others remember doing it themselves. From what I hear though, it's mostly boys that end up with things stuck up their noses. Is this a myth?

Moving!

Yeah, so I'm moving again. I planned on being here a lot longer than a year, but things happened and I pick up the U-Haul in 6 hours. It's 3am, and there are still a few things that need packed...but I do have all of next week to finish and clean. :) I was doing so good until the living room was pretty much all I had left. And let me tell you, I have a lot of stuff in there! You don't realize how much you have until you keep needing more and more boxes to put it in! Well, I like having background noise anytime I do stuff (I grew up in a house where the TV was on from the time I got up until after I went to bed). I even read a book better if there is background noise, like a radio or TV or something....it's weird. I can completely focus on the book and not "hear" the other noise, but if it isn't there, I can't concentrate on the book. I know, I'm strange, but I'm over it. Anyways, back to packing. So, I had to turn on the TV to pack the living room so I wouldn't go insane. It's so much easier to listen to music, because there is nothing to watch to distract you! Especially when you're watching "To Catch a Predator". You gotta look and see all the creepy guys. So, I didn't get all of it done. But, I'm getting up in 4 hours to throw things in boxes, so I should be good. For now, I'm going to sleep on the floor because I have already taken the sheets off my bed and taken the mattress off the frame to fold up the frame so it would be ready to go. Yeah, I didn't think that one through too well. Oh well. It's just one night. Luckily I still have toilet paper! Goodnight!